The Toothpaste and Hairgel Adventures!
by Lucifers-Helper
Summary: Strange adventures and the life of Yu-Gi-Oh! characters gone wrong! Really Hilarious! Everyone i showed it to at school loved it! Some of them are written like Plays.
1. Toomany Stories jammed on one chapter!

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  Kazuki Takahashi owns it!  These stories are written in play format because I hate typing all the "he said" "she said" and so on.  These are written in humor no offense towards the lovable Yu-Gi-Oh!  Characters intended.  "~…~" Indicates character talking and "*…*" indicates movement in background.

HAIR GEL 

~Yugi~ 

My hair gel is made of weird ingredients but that's how I do it!  Kids, try this at home if your parents let you!  Don't put too much egg white at once.  You'll be hanging upside down waiting for it to dry REALLY long.  I fainted one time from hanging too long and had a flat hairdo for a week because we ran out of toothpaste, egg white, hair gel, and shellac.  Don't fall asleep while it dries either.  Joey tried it once (don't ask why) and he fell asleep.  It isn't on the episode because the camera crew was on vacation.  Joey woke up with morning hair to last 3 days and ants in his hair!

*Yugi laughs and almost falls over*p

~Yugi~

AAH!

*Yugi pulls his lamp for balance, but the whole table falls over.  Yugi is just the right small size to not get killed by the hutch*

~Joey~

Take that for telling' about my embarrassing moments on the Internet!

~Yugi~

Aren't you supposed to be with Serenity?

*Joey scratches his head in attempt to say an excuse*

~Joey~

I saw her yesterday

*Yugi has dot eyes*

Grea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-at excuse, man

*Joey turns red*

~Joey~

Scoot over!  I want to talk to our audience!

~Yugi~

Are you trying to find a dueling monkey to beat up?

~Joey~

Gr.  I know I am not supposed to beat up **LITTLE **kids _BUT..._

~Yugi~

MOMMY!

~Joey~

Mommy ain't gonna help.  Ha!  Ha!

*Big cloud of dust*

Ten minutes later...

*Yugi has a black eye*

~You~

Where's Joey?

*Joey is fainted in the floor*

~You~ 

What happened?

~Yugi~

Heh heh, Spikes on my head are, like, really hard!

              THE END

Yami Bakura Comes to do Homework

~Yugi~

Joey!  I'd be helpful if you'd do some of YOUR homework!  This is nerve racking!  I'm a duelist not a homework machine!

~Joey~

What do you want me to do?

~Yugi~

Maybe you should get up and refill the printer! 

*Knock on door*

~Joey~ 

Hello?  ~Girly shriek~ BAKURA!  NOT EVIL BAKURA!  HOW MANY TIMES DUZ YAMI NEED TO BEAT YOU UP TO GET RID OF YOU?

~Bakura~

Heh heh I got myself in your study group…  After shrinking the teacher

~Yugi~

I'm almost done…  Maybe I'll work for another uh....  Five hours to avoid Bakura.

~Bakura~

How 'bout we play dungeon dice afterward?

*Yugi types faster and appears to have started seven projects at once*

~Yugi~

Maybe I should kick your sorry butt into the shadow realm.

~Yami Yugi~

That'll work.

*Joey continues to freak out*

~Yami Yugi~

Well....  Why don't we duel?  Dang.  My fingers have a typing cramp.

~Bakura~

No way!  Dungeon Dice!

~Yugi~

Duel or I'll cut to the chase and kick you in now

~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

  ~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

~Narrator~

You should get what's going on by now.

Ten minutes later...

~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

~Bakura~

DUNGEON DICE!

~Yami Yugi~

DUEL!

~Joey~

C'mon!  Can't you all get along?  This is so pathetic.

*Bakura punches Joey out*

~Yami Yugi~

WE ARE GOING TO DUEL, I'LL KICK YOU IN THE SHADOW REALM, OR I PLAIN OUT KICK YOU OUT THE WINDOW!

*Bakura shrinks to a little doll in fear*

~Bakura~

Wahh!  I'm calling my mommy!

*Yugi has water drop thimg*

Uh...  Am I insane or did Bakura call for "mommy"?

The End

Return of Evil Bakura....  In doll form? 

*Bakura is still a doll from the story "Evil Bakura comes to do Homework"*

~Joey~

Do you think Bakura got transferred out of our school?

~Yugi~

I doubt it as much as I wish it was true.

*Bakura slips under the door and Yugi n Joey jump on the table*

~Bakura~

Turn me to my normal size!

*Yugi stares at Bakura under a magnifying glass*

~Yugi~

I don't think I know how.

*Bakura starts to sob on the floor*

~Yugi~

O.K.!  Get my flashlights

*Bakura stares curiously*

~Joey~

Are you made of plastic?

~Bakura~

Uh, yeah....

~Yugi worried~

Are You sure Joey?

~Joey~

Sure as I'll ever be!

~Bakura screams like a little girl~

· Yugi and Joey chase him around the house trying to melt Bakura*

~Grandpa~

What are you doing Yugi?

~Yugi~

Breaking a doll!

~Grandpa~

I always knew you'd grow too old for dolls one of these days, just don't grow too old for cards, my boy!

~Joey~

Where'd the Bakura doll go?

~Yugi~

Vaporized?

 The end

Who Does Yugi's Hair 

Scene 1:outside class A-5

*Yugi walks into school with a bizarre version of his fern-starfish hair-do*

~Joey~

 What did you do to your hair?

~Yugi~

...

~Tea~

It wasn't that bad when you---at least Yami--and I studied together last night.

~Tristan~

Yeah, man looks like a car ran over it and the apocalypse came.  Worse than when Joey got an ant colony in his hair, too!

~Yugi~

Don't rub it in!

*Joey grabs Yugi and starts giving him a noogie.  *

~Joey~

If I spend all of 1st period noogiing you, and then PE kicking you in the pool or in the shower, 3rd period noogiing you again, and science I'll throw our borax goo in your hair, change our project from "How to make borax goo" to "the effects of Borax goo in hair that is red, black, and yellow", by lunch your hair will be normal!

*Yugi squirms out of Joey's grasp*

~Yugi~

That doesn't work!  You'll scrub the hair right out of my head!

~Joey~

Then how 'bout we run from school at lunch, go to the supermarket and buy toothpaste and eggs and hair gel!

~Yugi~

No Way!  It'll mar my beautiful perfect record!

~Joey~

M-Mar your record?  Yami marred your record so bad it took the principle 10 notebooks to get it all down!

~Yugi~

NO it didn't!  IT TOOK TWENTY!

*Tea and Tristan fall on the floor*

~Joey~

Anyway...what happened?

~Yugi~

Well...you see, I haven't cut my hair for like a month or something.  Grandpa got all angry when I clogged the drain with my hair again.  He ran after me with a pair or scissors trying to give me a buzz or something.  I didn't let him.

~Kaiba~

No wonder it looks like a fern.

~Yugi~

HEY!

Good Bakura~

Yugi's hair doesn't quite match the curves of a fern.  A fern may be red, but a red, black, and yellow fern couldn't exist naturally, it would with genetic engineering.  Fern leaves have a different shape.  Besides, since it's spring, ferns would pollinate around now.  I don't see any spore pouches.

*Bakura grabs a little bit of Yugi's hair*

~Bakura~

If there are any egg spores Yugi has lice, dandruff or collections of shellac-hair gel-toothpaste-egg white on his scalp.

*Yugi and co. stares blankly*

~Yugi~

Where did you learn that?

*Bakura goes red*

~Bakura~

 I'm taking AP biology, OK?  Computer Science was full!  I wanted to learn to hack!

*Bakura walks off nervously*

~Kaiba~

No one gets to hack but me!  You hear BAKURA?

~Bakura~

Does that mean you started the clod virus?

*Kaiba has a malicious look for a second, but then runs after Bakura*

~Kaiba ~

What I do in my spare time is none of your business!

*Yugi and co. more blank*

~Joey~

Yugi continue before it gets any scarier!

~Bakura~

Oh dear!  Oh dear!  Oh dear!  I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!

~Yugi~

Then Yami figured out about it....  I don't think the Egyptians had scissors!

The group~

Uh...huh...

~Yugi~

Well, I had a choice between; a person who didn't know how scissors worked and old grandpa.

~Tea~

Are you saying Yami did that?  Oh my gosh!  He's bad at something!

~Yugi~

No, but have you ever tried to balance on a sink, look in the mirror, sense the impending doom of the door being busted down by two freaky at the moment people?  Then fall on your head after the door bets rammed open?

~Tea~

The top of your head does sort of look like a paper off an earthquake recorder...Except for the dip of Joey's noogie

~Yugi~

Wait it gets worse.

~Joey~

Make it snappy, 1st period is about to start.

~Yugi~

I'll tell at lunch, but You don't want to see Yami for a month or so.

*Bizarre and scary thoughts brew in their heads as they go to their seats.  Bakura walks in with a black eye*  

Scene 2: School Lunch Court

~Yugi~

My hair grows fast but it's practically cemented into place.  Yami's hair was getting long too.  I couldn't cut it.  He looks like an unprimed fern and I look like a paper off an earthquake recorder. 

~Joey~

Yami looks like a fern tree?  I got to see!

~Joey rummages through his backpack for a digital camera.  *

~Yugi~

YU-Gi-O-o-o-o-o-o-oH! 

*Glowing Millennium Puzzle thing* 

*Yami appears*

~Yami~

 Get this over with!  I won't be able to duel with dignity at this rate!

~Joey~

Smile man!

*Yami deepens his frown*

~Joey~

Presto!  Instant pic of Fern man!

*Yugi reappears*

~Yugi~

 Is it that bad?

The end

Yugi's grades 

Inspired by my progress report

*Yugi is moping and walking out of last period*

~Joey~

Hey Yuge, wazup?

~Yugi~

Look at my grade card!

~Joey~

Art: A+, PE: A, History: A, Science: A+, Advanced Calculus: A+, English: A, Japanese: A. What's wrong with that?  Look mine!

~Yugi~

C's for everything but PE and failing History.  Sheesh!  You're lucky your parents don't spank!

~Joey~

Actually, I was thinking of forging.  Yuge!  You know my dad's signature right?

~Tristan~

You know my mom's right?

~Kaiba~

What a bunch of losers!  I LOVE being an orphan!

~Joey~

Aw jeez!  I'm not gonna ask Yami Yugi to kill my parents!

~Yugi~

Look at my citizenship!

~Joey~

Holy cow!  Unsatisfactory in everything!  What did you do?  I got past with good and satisfactory!

~Yugi~

I seriously don't know what Yami did.  Ever wonder how the teacher disappears before a big grade?

*Weird thoughts in both guys' heads*

~Joey~

....  You know my dad's signature right?

~Yugi~

Of course I do!  I've been forging every signature you've needed since first grade!  Just give me the stuff to sign!  I'm good at this stuff!  I mean, I even pulled off a nice love letter for Tristan to Miho!

~Miho~

Tristan!  That love note was by YUGI?

~Yugi~

Oops!

*Tristan puts his grade card in Yugi's hand and makes a run for it*

*Almost the whole class gives grade cards to Yugi*

~Yugi~

Man!  If I got paid to do this, I'd have enough money to buy twice as many duel monster cards as Kaiba has!

*Joey and Yugi start heading for the Game Shop*

~Grandpa~

I'm not going to ask who all those grade cards belong to, just give me yours.

*Yugi gives grandpa his and makes a run upstairs*

~Grandpa angry~

 WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU DO?  UNSATISFACTORY FORM EVERY TEACHER!

*Yugi runs faster, but is stumbling from all the papers, he and Joey dash in his room and lock the door*

~Joey~

Okay Yugi, now I know why you were practically crying!

~Yugi~

Now... how many forgeries...

~Joey~

Hey Yugi, how do you find the hypotenuse?

*Yugi scribbles down signatures, and looks up*

~Yugi~

A squared and b squared equals c squared.

*Yugi goes back to forgeries.  *

~Joey~

Nani?  (What?)

~Yugi~

It's not my fault you find math hard.

The next day...

~Yugi~

Here yours Bakura, Joey, Tristan, Ai, Tatsuya, Ryu, Aki, Koji, Sakura, Mei, Marissa, Cindie, Tai, Norimiko, Ruko,

*Yugi spends a whole hour distributing grade cards with forged signatures.  *

~Tristan~

Yugi!  Why did you have to say what you said yesterday?

*Tristan runs from an angry Miho


	2. Being Mean to Kaiba

The Torment of Seto Kaiba

Yugi and Joey sit bored, Joey is stuffing his mouth. While they sit in the front of Grandpa's Game Shop, the door slams open. Kaiba is standing there, again with a giant brief case of money.

 "Do you have any cards worth money or is this more of a dump than it ever was?" Kaiba asks. Yugi's eyes widen a little and he glances nervously at Kaiba while he has miso ramen in his mouth. 

"Back off" Joey orders, but Kaiba doesn't even blink.

"Mmm hmmpdjfigrepiudsf...ack ack.... What do you want now?" Yugi asks as he chokes down his food. 

"Rare cards," Kaiba replies. Yugi sits a little higher off his chair than he did as if concealing something. Kaiba immediately shoves him over with his briefcase. Before he can see what Yugi was sitting on, besides a couple encyclopedia volumes, Yugi snatches it up.  

"No way you are getting this card!" Yugi shouts.

 "WHAT? You have THAT CARD?" Kaiba yells. Yugi attempts to hold it away but Kaiba is too tall and easily reaches it.

Yugi shouts "YU-GI-OH!" and becomes Yami Yugi. Kaiba backs off a little but reaches for the card again. 

"Trying to get my card is futile Kaiba" Yami Yugi says. 

"What do you want for it?" Kaiba asks and reaches in his pocket, "How's this?" 

"You taped Grandpa's Blue Eyes together? Just when I thought you couldn't stoop lower" Yami Yugi is skeptical. 

"What do you want? I just finished stabilizing Kaiba Corp after Pegasus sabotaged it! I'm not in a good mood!" Kaiba yells. 

"And I'm supposed to be in a good mood?" Yami Yugi asks. 

"C'mon guys don't fight" Joey tries to reason. As sparks fly between Kaiba and Yami Yugi. Joey faints on the ground one second after that from a double upper cut. Yami Yugi losing his temper but looking like Kaiba disappeared decides if he should send Kaiba to the Shadow realm or turn him into a doll. 

"Kaiba, I'll give you one minute to get out.... you don't want to think of what I'll do.... If you're so desperate for power in dueling maybe you should dig for a Millennium item," Yugi says, but then muttering under his breath, "I doubt he'll find even a scrap of any artifact." Kaiba leaves and slams the door behind him.

Six months later... Kaiba has sunburn and several mummies' curses. 

"Hey Kaiba!" Joey walks up to Kaiba and slaps his sunburn as hard as he can.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Kaiba groans and drops his textbooks. 

"I never thought you'd listen to me. Haven't you heard of grave robbers? You'd be lucky if you found so much as a piece of dung!" Yugi says. Kaiba growls and punches Yugi, but runs off at the sight of Yami. The end.


End file.
